Effects of Pornography

During the month of October I had the opportunity to attend "Time Out For Women" with my mom and a couple aunts. It was a wonderful opportunity and while we were there I heard from a great speaker. Her name was Dr. Jill C. Manning. It was a unique topic for a women's conference, but very necessary in the times we live in.

You see, Dr. Manning is a Marriage and Family Therapist that specializes on the negative effects of pornography. We've heard for a few years now from prophets and apostles warning of the dangers of this evil practice. Dr. Manning really put into perspective how harmful this can be to women and families, and more importantly, how to protect our families from it.

She had wonderful resources. I would encourage you to visit here website here and see what you can do NOW to protect YOUR family.

This topic also made me realize how important it is to listen to our apostles and prophets. How many times do they provide counsel and within a few years we see those things come to pass? May we have a newfound desire to turn to the Lord and his leaders to guide and protect our families.

Tips For Starting a Family

My husband and I have had our own struggles starting a family. I personally know over a dozen couples that have, or did have, difficulty starting a family. Some of our good friends are having similar struggles. It was this friend that I heard about this book:

Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement and Reproductive Health

by Toni Weschler.

One of the issues that this friend has had is not having regular cycles. Taking Charge of Your Fertility has helped them to know when to try to get pregnant, and whether they're pregnant or not.

Both my friend and I had a hysterosalpingogram to find out if we weren't getting pregnant because of some blockage. Both our results came back clear.

As of now it doesn't appear there's a real reason for either of us not being pregnant. I came across this book in my many searches:

The Infertility Cure

by Randine Lewis, Ph.D.

This book is by a Doctor of Medicine that has studied both Western and Eastern Medicine. Her philosophy includes initiating good food changes in your diet, moderate exercise, herbal supplements, as well as acupressure or acupuncture.

If you are having difficulty getting pregnant, I would recommend both of these books.

Happy Family Starting!

Relationships with the Opposite Sex

Okay, or not okay?

Let me share a few stories with you:

(retold, but true)

A couple has been married a short time. One night they have a fight over something. The wife decides to go on a run to let out her frustration. While on her run she comes across a fellow jogger, a man. He's a nice, understanding person, as are most people in her community, and she begins to let out her frustrations about her husband to her fellow jogger. Innocent right? Week after week goes by and every now and then she meets this same man on her runs to let out her frustrations. A friendship grows. A friendship subtly turns into something more.

A marriage is ruined.

(personal observation)

Two co-workers, one married, one not, looking for a friendly face to share daily frustrating with. They start to eat lunch together in the work lunch room. They start to eat lunch together in her car. They start to take their lunch somewhere more secluded. Date?

Does anything seem wrong with any of these situations? I've often hear it disputed whether its okay or not to have friends of the opposite sex once you're married. There's nothing wrong with that. You can't be expected to never talk to someone of the opposite sex. Especially in this world where more and more women are in the work place. But what happens to each of these individuals? They often begin to be unfaithful to their partner when they paired off with someone of the opposite sex.

I once had a professor advise us to NEVER be in a situation where we were the only person with someone of the opposite sex. Even if its a crowded place, like a restaurant or a park, if you're paired off, you'll get into trouble. Will this always happen? No. But I personally love my husband and marriage too much to risk it.

Know Yourself

I've been pondering lately the importance of knowing ourselves before and during marriage.

The other day I realized how much more I've grown to understand myself since I've been married to my wonderful husband.

Unfortunately, better understanding myself has also caused me to see glaring flaws that I didn't notice before. I'm so blessed to have a husband that doesn't point out my flaws, but gently helps me realize them, and then change, for the better (whether he realizes he helps me do this or not).

As important as it is to continue to get to know ourselves as well as our spouses in marriage, it is almost, if not more, important to know oursleves as well as possible BEFORE we enter the covenant of marriage. This is why "experts" often recommend that couples that marry at a later age tend to have healthier marriages...becuase they KNOW themselves. What their needs and desires are.

Imagine, marrying someone and a few years down the road not only do THEY realize their true hopes and desires, but so do YOU. What if its not in line with your hopes and desire? What if you have different beliefs and values? That will happen in any marriage, but the more we know NOW the less we have to work out later.

So, if you're feeling sorry for yourself that you haven't found that "right" one, its okay. Take this time to get to know yourself, and when the right one comes along, you will have increased your imporovement for marital success by that much more.

Marriage lessons from the Book of Mormon

The other night I was in the bathroom getting ready for bed. As usual my husband was lying in bed, already prepared to sleep, but waiting for me to join him. This is a typical occurrence in our house. Unfortunately I can't quite get myself in bed at the same time as my husband. It takes me anywhere from 15 minutes to over an hour to get into bed once he's there. Obviously it’s important to him that I'm in bed with him before he falls asleep, because he never lies in his "sleep" position unless I'm there.

So, I got to thinking...why is it that we've been married over 2 years and I haven't been able to do this thing that is important to my husband more than a dozen times since we've been married? Don't I want the best for him? I DO! I would do ANYTHING for him! So why is it that I can't do this small thing?

This situation made me think of this story:

1 Nephi 17:41
We read in the Book of Mormon and the Bible when many of the Israelites were bitten by poisonous serpents and died. In order to save those that had not perished, Moses "raised up in the wilderness [a staff], that whosoever would look upon it might live (Alma 33:19)." Many chose not to look and therefore died.

That's it! All they had to do was look...and they chose to die! Can you believe it! Why did the Israelites not look?

Although it may seem so simple, I can ask myself a similar question:

Why can I not do simple things that bring so much happiness to those I love?

Alma counseled "O my son, do not let us be slothful because of the easiness of the way" (Alma 37:46)

Although I have told myself many times that I was going to make a better effort to do this thing for my husband, I have resolved to try a little harder. After all...how hard is it to put off doing the dishes, or sending an email by a couple hours? I would much rather make my husband happy and do my "to do" list a little earlier in the day then be, as Alma calls "slothful" to the wishes of my husband.

Of course there are deeper and more everlasting lessons we can learn from this story, but after all, Nephi did counsel us to "liken all scriptures" (1 Nephi 19:23- emphasis added) unto ourselves.

Introduction

I would like to begin this blog by giving a brief introduction of its purpose.

In my short life I have seen far too many unhappy families. I was blessed to grow up in a loving home, taught by good parents, and blessed with a caring husband. Through my education I have been taught what families can do to have not only healthy relationships, but a happy home. Between a wonderful upbringing, good education and a husband that has been an amazing example and support, I experience insights on a daily basis that help me to see how an average family can have a lasting, and even eternal, happy home and relationship.

It is my hope to compile these somewhat random thoughts for my own and other's benefits.

This blog will be largely based on:

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

(read below)

and more specifically the line:

"Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children."

The Family:A Proclamation to the World

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose

.
In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

This proclamation was read by President Gordon B. Hinckley as part of his message at the General Relief Society Meeting held September 23, 1995, in Salt Lake City, Utah.
© 1995, 2008 by Intellectual Reserve, Inc. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America