Effects of Pornography

During the month of October I had the opportunity to attend "Time Out For Women" with my mom and a couple aunts. It was a wonderful opportunity and while we were there I heard from a great speaker. Her name was Dr. Jill C. Manning. It was a unique topic for a women's conference, but very necessary in the times we live in.

You see, Dr. Manning is a Marriage and Family Therapist that specializes on the negative effects of pornography. We've heard for a few years now from prophets and apostles warning of the dangers of this evil practice. Dr. Manning really put into perspective how harmful this can be to women and families, and more importantly, how to protect our families from it.

She had wonderful resources. I would encourage you to visit here website here and see what you can do NOW to protect YOUR family.

This topic also made me realize how important it is to listen to our apostles and prophets. How many times do they provide counsel and within a few years we see those things come to pass? May we have a newfound desire to turn to the Lord and his leaders to guide and protect our families.

Tips For Starting a Family

My husband and I have had our own struggles starting a family. I personally know over a dozen couples that have, or did have, difficulty starting a family. Some of our good friends are having similar struggles. It was this friend that I heard about this book:

Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement and Reproductive Health

by Toni Weschler.

One of the issues that this friend has had is not having regular cycles. Taking Charge of Your Fertility has helped them to know when to try to get pregnant, and whether they're pregnant or not.

Both my friend and I had a hysterosalpingogram to find out if we weren't getting pregnant because of some blockage. Both our results came back clear.

As of now it doesn't appear there's a real reason for either of us not being pregnant. I came across this book in my many searches:

The Infertility Cure

by Randine Lewis, Ph.D.

This book is by a Doctor of Medicine that has studied both Western and Eastern Medicine. Her philosophy includes initiating good food changes in your diet, moderate exercise, herbal supplements, as well as acupressure or acupuncture.

If you are having difficulty getting pregnant, I would recommend both of these books.

Happy Family Starting!

Relationships with the Opposite Sex

Okay, or not okay?

Let me share a few stories with you:

(retold, but true)

A couple has been married a short time. One night they have a fight over something. The wife decides to go on a run to let out her frustration. While on her run she comes across a fellow jogger, a man. He's a nice, understanding person, as are most people in her community, and she begins to let out her frustrations about her husband to her fellow jogger. Innocent right? Week after week goes by and every now and then she meets this same man on her runs to let out her frustrations. A friendship grows. A friendship subtly turns into something more.

A marriage is ruined.

(personal observation)

Two co-workers, one married, one not, looking for a friendly face to share daily frustrating with. They start to eat lunch together in the work lunch room. They start to eat lunch together in her car. They start to take their lunch somewhere more secluded. Date?

Does anything seem wrong with any of these situations? I've often hear it disputed whether its okay or not to have friends of the opposite sex once you're married. There's nothing wrong with that. You can't be expected to never talk to someone of the opposite sex. Especially in this world where more and more women are in the work place. But what happens to each of these individuals? They often begin to be unfaithful to their partner when they paired off with someone of the opposite sex.

I once had a professor advise us to NEVER be in a situation where we were the only person with someone of the opposite sex. Even if its a crowded place, like a restaurant or a park, if you're paired off, you'll get into trouble. Will this always happen? No. But I personally love my husband and marriage too much to risk it.

Know Yourself

I've been pondering lately the importance of knowing ourselves before and during marriage.

The other day I realized how much more I've grown to understand myself since I've been married to my wonderful husband.

Unfortunately, better understanding myself has also caused me to see glaring flaws that I didn't notice before. I'm so blessed to have a husband that doesn't point out my flaws, but gently helps me realize them, and then change, for the better (whether he realizes he helps me do this or not).

As important as it is to continue to get to know ourselves as well as our spouses in marriage, it is almost, if not more, important to know oursleves as well as possible BEFORE we enter the covenant of marriage. This is why "experts" often recommend that couples that marry at a later age tend to have healthier marriages...becuase they KNOW themselves. What their needs and desires are.

Imagine, marrying someone and a few years down the road not only do THEY realize their true hopes and desires, but so do YOU. What if its not in line with your hopes and desire? What if you have different beliefs and values? That will happen in any marriage, but the more we know NOW the less we have to work out later.

So, if you're feeling sorry for yourself that you haven't found that "right" one, its okay. Take this time to get to know yourself, and when the right one comes along, you will have increased your imporovement for marital success by that much more.