"...babies don't keep"

I understand being a mother and a parent can be hard. But being a parent is also one of the most rewarding thing you can do on this earth. I've heard so many friends, acquaintances, and strangers complain about motherhood and parenting lately. It makes me so sad because there are so many people out there who would LOVE to be a parent. They would gladly put up with the diapers, and the late nights, and the whining, even the changes in their body to have the joy of loving and guiding a child of their own. I know that when they are small it's hard to see the end, but just remember: even though you can't see it, there is an end, and it will come sooner than you can ever expect. So think about these wise words from my dear sister.

I just can't believe how fast my baby is growing up! It seems that each child grows up faster than the last one. As a young girl I can remember wanting to know what my youngest sister would be like and look like when she was older. And I can also remember my mom telling us that it would happen soon enough and not to wish for her to grow up too fast. Now I understand. I just love my babies. It seems that only yesterday it was William pulling himself up on things--and now he's off to school and birthday parties and primary activities!Seeing them grow so fast reminds me of the poem that hung in our home growing up:

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow
For babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

So... if you stop by and my house is a mess just know that it's because I'm enjoying my babies before they grow up!

Be on the Same Team

Today's Post is by a dear friend of mine who also studied Marriage Family and Human Development at Brigham Young University. Here's what she has to say about being on the same team:

For Christmas Chad's parents gave us the game Stratego and last night I played it for the first time. Chad really liked the game growing up so he's pretty good at it and I, of course, lost miserably. I've always known that I am competitive but recently I've discovered that I am selectively competitive.
If I'm playing a game that I think I'm good at and really should win, I can get pretty vicious. Luckily for Chad, I didn't really mind losing last night so no blood was shed (although, the fact that Chad was able to win using his weakest player was pretty embarrassing).
My question for the day is... where do you think we get our competitive drive? Our parents? Experiences where we lost and vowed never to let it happen again? I don't remember my parents ever pushing us really hard to win anything so I'm not sure that's it. I guess Dad is pretty competitive so he didn't really have to say anything, we just caught on.
If there's anything I learned from being married and watching my siblings in their marriages... its always less contentious if you and your spouse are on the same team. Wouldn't you all agree?

To expound on what she said:

It is so crucial that we are on the same team as a couple. I don't know of any prominent marriage or parenting expert that doesn't encourage a couple to be have as much in common as possible BEFORE they get married. This is why we are encouraged to have the same religion, education, culture, financial beliefs etc. (I know one marriage expert that goes as far as encouraging people to have in common what temperature they prefer in a room.)

When we have these things in common we are more likely to agree on important matters when they arise and it makes it much easier to be on the same team. When it comes to parenting we need to support each other's decisions to discipline or praise our children. Children are confused when don't agree on matters.

To me, being on the same team is another way of saying, "being one". Just as Heavenly Father and Christ are one, so should we be in our marriage (Genesis 2:22-24). Our children should be able to go to each parent with the same question and expect the same answer. The Lord wants us to be on the same side because he wants us to become one. In the book Strengthening our Families, we read that, "In marriage, God intends to create a new spiritual and physical relationship marked by the words 'one flesh'". This should be our goal in marriage. It's not a competition, we are not enemies. In fact, it is just the opposite. We are teammates because the Lord, in his perfect plan, wants us to be on the same team.

"I just would not know how to get along without her..."

President Gordon B. Hinckley served as the President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from March 1995-January 2008. He was a great man who loved and served the Lord. There were many things I admired about him.

One great example he gave throughout his life, was how to have a great marriage. He said these sweet and tender words about his wife. I hope we can all feel this way about our spouse.

“I look upon my dear wife, soon to be 92 years of age. Her hair is white; her frame is stooped. I take one of her hands in mine and look at it. Once it was so beautiful, the flesh firm and clear. Now it is wrinkled and a little bony and not very strong. But it speaks of love and constancy and faith, of hard work through the years. Her memory is not what it once was. She can remember things that happened half a century ago but may not remember what happened half an hour ago. I am like that, too. But I am so grateful for her. For 66 years we have walked together, hand in hand, with love and encouragement, with appreciation and respect. It cannot be very long before one of us will step through the veil. I hope the other will follow soon. I just would not know how to get along without her, even on the other side, and I would hope that she would not know how to get along without me.”

Gordon B. Hinckley, “To the Women of the Church,” Liahona, Nov 2003, 113–15

Marrying for the right reasons

This is a pretty interesting article about cohabitation and marriage.

As I read it, I noticed that if these people followed a few basic principles they may have ended up with a happy marriage (probably to someone else).

-relied on the Lord to know if the marriage of right

-didn't cohabitate (it makes it harder to break up if you know its not right)

-kept the law of chastity (some got married because of a pregnancy)

-listened to the wise council of those older and wiser (i.e. parents)

Cohabitate or not?

I know that Cohabitation is becoming more and more popular in our world. In fact we see it all over the TV and movies as common place. My husband and I just watched a movie last night where a couple wasn't interested in the least in getting married, and for all the wrong reasons. If you are trying to decide what YOU think about cohabitation read a couple articles.

Here's one the was just published in USA Today. If one of your reasons is that your marriage will last longer...you might want to think again.

And then, read this beautifully written blog post by one of the greatest, everyday couples I know.

I choose commitment, I choose love, I choose marriage-FIRST.

And if you're curious even further, check out this website.