The Gift of Motherhood

A few years ago my mother gave an amazing talk in sacrament meeting. I asked my mother for a copy of her talk and received her permission to post it on this blog.
Here is the slightly abridged version.
ENJOY!

Motherhood May 8, 2005 I love Sheri Dew. Many of you know that she once served as a counselor in the General Relief Society presidency. She is currently the president of Deseret Book. Sister Dew has never married and does not have children. Four years ago she gave a talk at the General Relief Society meeting entitled “Are We Not All Mothers?” She said: “While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lords’ language, the word ‘mother’ has layers of meaning….Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that…. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us.” Sheri L. Dew (“Are We Not All Mothers?” Ensign, Nov. 2001, 96) She says “We are all mothers in Israel, and our calling is to love and help lead the rising generation.” When I speak of mothers and motherhood today, I am speaking to all women. I was the oldest of six children. I remember as a teenager I thought, “It can’t be all that hard to be a mother. I already clean the house, do a lot of the cooking and watch after my brothers and sisters. How hard can it be?” I had no idea!! Being a mother is more than keeping a clean house, feeding the children, and making sure they get to bed on time. Being a mother is nurturing the mind, body and spirits of children. Joanne Doxey, a former member the General Relief Society presidency said, “How eternal is our influence on our homes and families.... The proper nurturing and teaching of our children must be our first priority.” Joanne B. Doxey (“Remember Him”, Ensign, Nov.1989, 89) Many years ago when my three oldest children were young, I became very sick. For nearly a year I lay in bed. For many months I was too weak to read a book, watch TV or listen to the radio. All I could do was to lie on the bed and think and pray. I began to ask myself this question, “If I were to get well enough to do just one thing, what would I choose to do?” I decided that the one thing I would choose to do was to teach my children and help them develop their own testimonies. That became my highest priority. Let me repeat what Sister Doxey said, “The proper nurturing and teaching of our children must be our first priority.” Let me offer three suggestions on nurturing and teaching our children. 1. Prepare ourselves spiritually. When Elise was about 5 years old, I was talking with her and I recognized a teaching moment. I said, “You know, I have had a lot of different jobs. I have worked as a secretary. I have been a school teacher. But the most important job I have is to be a mother and teach my children how they should live.” Elise looked at me and said, “No that’s not the most important job.” I was a little surprised and asked her what she thought the most important job was. She said, “The most important job is to say your prayers and the second most important job is to be a mom and teach your children.” I thought about that a minute and decided she was right. Unless I say my prayers (and I have to add, study the scriptures) I won’t be spiritually in tune and won’t do as good a job teaching my children. We must prepare ourselves spiritually. 2. Ponder and pray about the needs of our children. The Lord knows our children better than we do. He is anxious to help us parent our children. If we ask, He will teach us how to teach them. Lately I have felt a need to teach my children about charity. As I have pondered and prayed, the Lord has blessed me with specific ideas on how to teach this important principle. Every child is different. Just when we think we have parenting all figured out, along comes a child who doesn’t respond to our parenting techniques. But the Lord will help us in knowing how to teach each of our children. We must ponder and pray about the needs of our children. 3. Look for the teaching moments. Parental teaching moments don’t need to be big, dramatic or powerful. Some of the best teaching moments are quiet one on one conversations. They can be while driving in the car, at mealtimes, while doing a chore together, or at the quiet time before bed. One of my daughters says that she recognizes that often both Brent and I will use teaching moments when we are watching a movie or TV show. We’ll point out a lesson that can be learned from what we have just watched. Listen to the spirit who can help us know when and how to teach our children. Look for the teaching moments. I believe that mothers want to do the best for their children. But as mothers we simply can’t give ALL good things to our children, but we can give SOMETHING. I believe every mother gives some kind of gift to her children. My mother gave me two great gifts. Through her example, she taught me and gave me the gift of faith and the gift of service. My mother had more faith than any person I know. She had the absolute assurance that if she asked the Lord for that which was right, it would happen. Many times people would come to my mother and ask her to pray for them. They knew that when Marie Allred prayed, the heavens responded. My mother also knew how to give Christ-like service. She did not have to be asked or assigned to help someone. She had a way of seeing a need and quietly giving service. I know of no one else that gave as much service to others as my mother. When she died she left a legacy of faith and service. Maybe as mothers we should think about what gift we are leaving our children. Is our gift material things or just the fun things of the world? Or are we giving them a gift that will affect them for eternity. We can also use our mothering gifts as we teach and guide children in Primary or Young Women or even by sitting next to a young mother in Sacrament Meeting and helping her with her children. David O. McKay once said that the nearest thing to Christ’s love for mankind is a mother’s love for her child. From my experience, I believe that to be true. I have a friend whose child was going through a terrible trial. This friend said that if she could, she would take that trial from her child and bear it herself. That is a mother’s love. That is the love Christ has for us. Because He loves us, he said, “If you will repent, I will suffer and bear the burden for you.” As mothers who love our children, I believe we begin to catch a glimpse of our Saviors love for us. Every mother worries that she is not doing enough for her children. She worries about the mistakes she makes raising her children. She worries about missed opportunities to bless her children. We can be assured that through the atonement of Jesus Christ, He will not only forgive us of our mistakes, but he will bless our children and compensate for the errors we may have made. That is a great blessing. In 1942 the First Presidency stated, “Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels.” Herber J. Grant (Teaching of the Presidents of the Church, pg. 203) I am thankful to have been raised by a wonderful mother who loved the Lord. I am thankful to be a mother and for the lessons my children have taught me. As women, may we each fulfill the eternal calling which we have been given, that of motherhood.